Rose- confusion

What is this feeling inside me? It burns in a place a heart should be. It is almost like longing. I don't think I have ever felt it before... at least not like this. I mean... Orifiel and Gabriel... they were fun and both I enjoyed but... Neither of them can hold a candle to my newest employer. He does things no one has ever done before. He has a way about him that... almost makes me feel like I want to be controlled for once. I have sent so much of my time being out solely for myself that I have no idea what it is like to actually want to give someone else any kind of control over me.

I don't know. I never get involved with my employers. It is a common rule that I have so it is easy for me to leave when the job is done. But... a part of me wants him to not let me go. I don't know why, but... Maybe it's his Power, the commanding presence he holds... Maybe it's his look... I don't know, something about him just... just won't leave my mind even when we are apart. I find myself wanting to do everything in my Power to impress him.

No... I have never felt like this before. Quite honestly...it's the only thing about my current job that worries me. There could be many things that could happen as a result. Not just him letting me go and my getting hurt, but... Already I find myself placing myself in serious situations whenever my employer is in trouble... But he always seems to heal me afterward. And when he touches me...

He is trying to get Dante and Vergil as part of a plan to get back at their father. Alreadythe brothers have come and gone from this place on a few occassions. This last time, it was thought for sure that vergil would have remained behind, but... he didn't want to listen. Now he has a lover who has lost her demon self for a short period of time. With which my employer must decide soon if he is going to take advantage of this situation or not. What happens to me, what I do, here I go... Right now it is up to my employer...

And oddly... I am okay with letting my fate rest in his hands...

posted by Lady Aurora Phoenix @ 1:34 PM Comments: 0