oh boy....

Too much to cover, not enough time to cover it all.

I have been spending my days at the chruch lately. Safer that way and the priest has been good enough to offer me a room to rest. Ori is always in the garden anyway. Not like he misses me much at night. And when he wants to see me, he can see me in the church.

Something has been happening... I don't know what Orifiel is going through but... It's a lot on him. He tells me that he is going to go back to Aura but... She is still in her coma. Has been ever since he left her. Dorian calls it the Sleeping beauty/Snow White syndrom. Only Orifiel's promised kiss of return will wake her. But he is off doing Ra knows what. Last I heard it was some competition he was doing to beat RIJ's record of something... Yes, I all him RIJ. If he wanted friendship I could give him that, but he doesn't even try. He is still too much obsessed with my sister. So he remains RIJ to me as far as I am concerned. He has rejected our children. Last I heard Orion and Orifiel had something on the side and Raven... She seems to be doing okay with Commander Suranto, but still... I sense saddness within her.

I am skirting around things... It seems Orifiel has been commondeering Ori's body... I have to admit, it is very enjoyable when he does this. But now... there are conesquneces to this and I have no idea how to tell Ori... All I know is what the test showed, but I have to get an official tet yet which I have been afraid to get. I know I would have to tell Ori and I don't know what he would think. I know he will wonder about it. But timing from the last time I was with Ori fits... not the last time Orifiel took Ori's body. It is the only explanation and because I am with Ori so few times it is easy to pick things like this out.

I fear his reaction though. I fear what he will do.

And a part of me fears that he still looks to Angel as something more than a friend. I think a part of him still has very strong feelings for her, but his religious background refuses to allow him to do anything about it... We went to her secret wedding... For a moment I thought he was going to object to it. But 1 he had no real reason especially with me there, and 2... Dante and Vergil tend to scare even me, so I can only imagne what their presence does to him.

I have to trust in him and our marriage. I do love him and want this to work. I just hope this child helps and doesn't hurt... Ori can help me bring this child up the way it should... With the light of God in its heart...

posted by Lady Aurora Phoenix @ 1:50 PM Comments: 0