Oh God... what have I done...

(RP)
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________________________________________

(side)

Sweet God... I fear I no longer deserve forgiveness for the things that I do. This last sin... will haunt me forever.
He begged me. He would have forced me. He threatened everyone I loved... All he wanted was for me to take his life.

How was I supposed to be expected to do that? I loved him. I still love him. Just because I loved Ori enough to remarry doesn't mean I ever stopped loving Gabriel... I still dream of him, feel his arms wrapped around me... Severeal times a night I am wakened by the sound of his purring... only to learn that I am dreaming once more. He no longer holds me. His lips no longer touch mine. He... is gone...

His body is cold now. He told me he lied everytime he told me he loved me in the past. Why did I ask him to lie to me once more? Why.... I just had to hear him say it...

I held him as he died. Guilt surrounds me for I am the one who took his life. Ori.. what will he think? What am I to tell him? It hurt to see Gabriel with others, but at least I could still see him. When he pulled me close to him... It took all I could muster to keep myself from just taking advantage of the situation. I did kiss him, I did... but I didn't want anything more form him. He thought I did, but I didn't. He is right, I could never cheat on Ori. Especially with Gabriel himself...

He siad I was the only one who could set him free because I had his heart. That he could finally be at peace if I just finally killed him...

But now that he is gone...

Who will set me free? Free of this pain, guilt... Free of the love I still hold for him?

Who will set me free from the power he had when I gave my heart to him...?

When can I finally be put to rest? Because I honestly cannot take much more. If he comes back after this, I swear I will go insane...

posted by Lady Aurora Phoenix @ 5:15 PM Comments: 0