Highway to hell....

(RP)

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_________________________

(side)

Ra what is going on? Someimtes I am complately aware of my surroundings and then there are times where I am completely lost...

Gabriel is alive afterall... and very much attached to Malcolm which seems to make them very happy. But there is something ... odd... going on. Something I cannot make sense of and has my world spinning...

It started with Gabriel and me messing with each other's minds. That's typical, I can deal with that now, but... then it ... it turned into something... I cannot begin to understand. But it sparked Rose's interest that's for sure. I don't know if it was her, or if it was me, or if it Rose... or a combination of both, but the mental game took a spin and the next thing I know it was as if there was nothing but him and me... or her... or .. whatever it was. It was wild, animalistic, out of control... everything we used to have and more... but all on a mental plane that left me clinging to Ori and trying desperately to pretend I was asleep. I could not let Ori know of these sinful thoughts in my head, especially because i wasn't sure just who was creating them...

I thought it was over and done, but the next day he asked me to meet him at the hot springs at the far end of town. I was hesitant. I was still so confused about the night before.

Gabriel hates me... Doesn't he?

If he hates me then what is going on?

I thought maybe he would be able to help me make sense of things so I told Ori I was taking my dress into the dry cleaners and I would be gone for a little while... he went back to sleep and I headed out. Gabriel was there all ready when I got there. There was another little mental game between us before we ... did we decide to get in? Or did it just happen?... I don't know, all I remember was staring down at the water, wondering what the hot springs would feel like against my skin. It had been so long since I had been able to relax in one... We spoke a little more and I saw him slide closer to me. I felt his lips on mine but then... I ... I don't know what happened. It was as if I blacked out. The only thing I can think is that Rose took over. Took over in such a way that I was unable to have any clear idea of what was being done.

I woke the next morning face down in my pillow... I am not about to even TRY to describe how worn out I felt... but tingly at the same time... I curled up against Ori suddenly longing for his arms to be around me. I am afraid of what happened at the spring. If it is what I think it is... I pray Ori never learns of it.. or if he does he can understand and forgive that it wasn't me... Ori is too good a guy for me to lose over something like this. He's the only guy I know for a fact would be faithful to me. Someone I can count on. He's my friends and confidant. I trust him. My children accept him. He accepts them without question. He's the best man for me...

So why did I get this tingle of hidden excitement and seduction when I saw an appointment in my calender for a favorite restaurant of mine? Why did I get dressed up and tell Ori I was going out with friends for the evening and I would be home late?

He's so trusting he didn't even think twice. he promised he would treat me the way I always should have been treated which included giving me some kind of life... Ra... Ori you are so kind, so good... so good...

Yet he holds me back in one area...

he is very traditional. He ... how do I put this delicately... He is very skilled at what he does. But he prefers one position... a very traditional position and he seems to prefer to be the one in the controlling position. That isn't a problem with me, but sometimes I prefer things to go outside the bed... He has no idea that he could very well like having me on top from time to time... and here I go getting into a subject no one really has to know about...

Anyway- it's is calm and soft, very soft... Which is nice every once in a while... But when I saw Gabriel appear in that restaurant... I felt my face warm and my body automatically reacted to him... God help me, I barely kept myself in control.

I felt awkward when Gabriel asked me why I loved Ori... I thought we had gone over this Ra only knows how many times. He still blames me... for not being happy enough I guess... And when asked why he went for my sister, all he said was she made him feel good... Ra I suddenly wanted to knock that smirk off that face of his... I hated him for that. He said it on purpose... but he isn't the kind of guy who reacts well to direct physcial violence. To get back at him and punish him... there is only one way. Play his game and play it better. He said she made him feel good, but I know for fact that... *shifts uncomfortably* never mind...

We decided to leave before the check came and he took me someplace... different... Someplace exotic and royal looking. I was completely taken in. He told me there was someone there he needed to introduce me too, and I think my heart died when I saw Raven wandering the halls...

He introduced her to me as Yelena Suranto....

Now I got 2 things out of that.

1. She gave him a false name and her eyes begged me not to let on the truth of her identity, meaning something is going on and I hope to find out what it is soon...

and 2. .... She took Adrian's last name which seriously makes me think there is something she has kept hidden all this time. Either way, she and I seemed to come to a silent agreement- I keep her secret and she does not say anything to anyone else about my being at that palace...

Gabriel called for his son Xavier to keep an eye on her which concerned me, but suddenly Adrian's voice floated into my mind. He told me he was watching over her. I was floored when he said he would die for her if he had to...

Does he really care so deeply for her? But why? What has happened? Adrian... just did not came to me as the kind of guy who would give his life for anyone. Why Raven? Does it have anything to do with why she chose his last name for hers?

So many questions my head is spinning.... and then i was led into this room.... It was like a king's room and Gabriel said it was his...

Gabriel... he had his shirt off and he sat near me... I felt his hand on my thigh... his other hand in my hair... his breath whispered over my lips as he leaned in close to ask me if I would be his queen for the night...

God... Ori... forgive me....

I said yes....

How long can I continue to live this double life? Angel gave it up after 15 years, and Ori was blind to it the entire time... I don't want to take advantage of that innocence...

Why is Gabriel doing these things to me now? Why not earlier when we were together? Why now... What is his plan? Or has he finally realized that i was right... that I really am the only one who can work him the way he desires... the way he craves... the way he needs to be worked...?

He asked if we are friends and I said yes... but something tells me we are becoming friends... with secret benefits...

posted by Lady Aurora Phoenix @ 3:58 PM Comments: 0