A surprise...

Not too much has really happened for me. The only good thing is that Gabriel asked me to marry him... I said yes, because I do care deeply for him, But deep down, I can sense that things aren't like he hoped... I can't help but think he wishes he had asked my sister instead...

Still, he asked me... So I said yes. After all this time, we finally were able to be together. I was surprised when he actually stayed. I didn't think he would. But it was wonderful. I loved that I could wake up beside him in the morning.

I... I really do love him....

I fear this because Rose has become active again. I heard about it in the diner while Gabriel and I were out. The Black Rose Assassin struck, killing a man.

I have to work harder at keeping her under control...

____________________________

Sidelines:

Ra, what happened? I swear I have no idea....

I wanted to still at least be able to get along with RIJ, but no matter how hard I try he twists everything to make it sound like an attack on him. On top of that, he snaps at me, taking hits at me as well. Okay, I admit I hate that he went to my sister. But deep down I knew it was only a matter of time. Still...

A small part of me still loves him... harder still is it to look at what we are doing in the RP and feeling those feelings all over again- it makes me really just ... I lash out acting in hateful, spiteful ways to cover the horrendous pain I am masking in my heart....

I still love him... in secret....

Ori... is sweet.... quiet... *sighs* I no longer know what I am supposed to be doing. I fear that anyone I be with only wants someone like my sister so a part of who she is spills into my own personality. Not completely intentional... It just happens...

He's different from what I expected. I don't know what to expect anymore. I don't know what he's thinking. He doesn't really talk much to me and it seems all I do is make him uncomfortable.... Maybe he doesn't care about me like he said. Maybe it was out of sympathy he said those things. Maybe my fighting with RIJ has created a distance between Ori and me?... Fine... I'll remain quiet now. I won't let RIJ get to me...

I just wish someone would tell me what is wanted from me, expected from me...

Please?

posted by Lady Aurora Phoenix @ 6:50 AM Comments: 0